Hello, lovely readers.
Long time no type… Let’s see, what have you guys missed? Basically not much, but let’s just start with this week. This week has been an emotional roller coaster, seeing as our busiest time of the year at work has been these last several weeks and climaxing this week, so everyone in my office has been pretty much walking around sleep-deprived and crazed. I’m, however, doing alright, because one of my coworkers, for some unknown reason, brought amazing cake squares to work today, and she gave me one. That makes her my new favorite person and put me in an even better mood than I was already in. I have no idea why I’m in such a good mood today, but I’m not questioning it. My Spotify is playing wonderful music. It’s Friday, and there’s an overall more-than-normal optimistic/cheerful vibe in my office (which I love). There are hilariously exciting movies premiering this weekend. And the J.Crew Factory store is 50% off this weekend. It’s going to be a good weekend!
Also, fabulous things are happening for my wonderful friends! Two of my friends, one of which is married, just bought their first houses. One has been in her new house for a few weeks now redecorating, and the other closes on her house at the end of the month. Another friend decided to end her engagement to her fiancé several months back, and now she’s in a new relationship and happier than I’ve ever seen. Finally, I have a friend in interviews this week that would put her in a very special job seemingly created just for her (Fingers crossed). My friends are amazing.
So I think that’s pretty much it for now… I hope you all have incredible weekends! Mine is going to be filled with lots of much needed me time.
So I decided to paint that wall… in fact, I painted the whole room. To be clear, I painted one of my guest rooms, and I’m in the process of remodeling it. It’s almost complete, but not quite. It has been the most invigorating project. I was sick all last week, but I was determined to paint that room by the weekend. With the help of my wonderful brother and sister and a couple friends, we managed to knock out the painting in just a few hours Friday evening. I let the paint dry overnight, and by Saturday afternoon, I was able to do touch-ups and finally hang my curtains. I also managed to find a painting I love and some awesome throw pillows at World Market. The room is really coming together, and the project has inspired me to keep making changes and improvements throughout my house. Pictures to come.
This weekend, I’m making a vintage picture collage/ picture wall on one of the walls in my hallway. For those of you unfamiliar, it’s a wall of various shaped and sized photo frames interspersed with vintage mirrors of various shapes and sizes. I have been scouring my photographs, both electronic and paper, trying to find all the possible photos I would want to have on my wall. I have found so many incredible photos from my childhood, high school, college, and they all flood me with memories.
I have been very fortunate in my life, though it was not always a cheery one, to have many friends and many families at many times. Those people played a part in making me the person I am today, and without having known them, and without having had the experiences I’ve had, I might be a different person; I might have walked a different path. When I look back at pictures and see people who are no longer a part of my life, it does not make me sad any more, at least most people. I am grateful for what I received from them, what I learned and my ability to grow as a person, and the ability to appreciate the memories for what they are-happy memories of times past- and move on with my life, and I can only wish that those people have done the same as well.
I have definitely caught the home improvement bug… I wonder what my next project will be.
Oh, and I got my first paid editing job! One of the girls I work with is enrolled in an online publishing program for her Masters, and she often has me edit things for her, both for work and for her classes. On Monday, she approached me with a big project and asked if I’d edit seventeen essays for her, and she’s paying me to do it! These are long, tedious essays, and I have to be finished with them by tomorrow (Thursday). I’m about a third of the way through with them now, so I still have a good bit of work to get through before tomorrow, so I better get back to it.
Yesterday, I was unable to process what was going on in the news or rather, chose not to, as that’s how I tend to handle more emotionally trying situations. I wasn’t able to avoid it, however, for very long. I first heard of the explosions on Twitter, with people sending their love and thoughts and prayers to the people running the marathon, the injured bystanders, and the citizens of Boston. Those outcrys were peppered with links to news articles with extremely graphic images and live video feed of the bombings, showing the explosions in real time as well as pictures of the injured and deceased. It made my heart hurt and it still does. I couldn’t exscape it, and I still can’t; it was on the news as I went to bed last night and as I woke up this morning. It was the discussion on the radio as I drove to work. It was the story on the television playing in the doctor’s office. There is no avoiding it.
My way of dealing with terribly sad, scary, or emotional things has always been to compartmentalize them until I’m ready to handle whatever it is. This, however, insists on being dealt with now. There is no compartmentalization allowed. Yesterday was a teribbly sad and emotional day, and without knowing who’s responsible or why they chose to do what they did, there are some things I do know. There are many very good people in this world, and there are more good people than there are evil. After seeing all the footage that was so unavoidable, what was wonderful to see was the people rushing to help the injured and the fallen to safety. So many people, after the explosions, ran toward rather than away from the detonation site to help others. As a whole, people are inherently good, and that makes it hurt just a little less.
All my love.
Above is the contents of a text message I sent to a friend telling her I had just applied for a job in Vietnam, softening the blow by asking what we’re going to have for dinner tonight at our weekly Tuesday night get-together. She took it well, replying with exclamations of excitement and asking if I still wanted macaroni and cheese or if I’d changed my mind. My mother handled it surprisingly well too. I sent her the link to the job description and she replied, “The hell you are moving to Vietnam.” After I explained to her the job would only have me in Vietnam for a year, she seemed okay with it, but then she reminded me how my grandparents would react saying they’d “totally stroke the hell out”. She’s not wrong, but they’d get over it. Eventually. The third person I told had a more radical reaction. “Vietnam?! Have you lost your MIND?! That’s a war zone!!!” To that, I just laughed and reminded her that technically we could be considered a war zone as well.
When I found the job posted online, I didn’t see all the scary things my friends and family were weary of, and I still don’t. All I see are possibilities: the chance to learn the e-book publishing process, the opportunity to go abroad and explore Asia. I know it will be scary, and the likelihood of me actually getting this job is slim, but I took and chance, and I have hope.
There’s a quote I believe is very fitting to this situation by Neale Donald Walsch – “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” That is certainly the case here, as moving to Vietnam would be outside of my comfort zone, by a long shot. I think it would be a fabulous opportunity though, one I would be crazy not to jump at, seeing as it’s only for a short period of time… I mean, what’s a year really, anyway? It’s already almost April, and I feel like it was just Christmas.
Time just seems to fly past without any real thought. And of course not; time doesn’t and cannot think. Time is not a tangible thing. What is time even? Just the way someone once decided was necessary to mark the passage of days? Even a day is a matter of time made of intangible hours, minutes, and seconds that are used to classify and compartmentalize our world, but they really have no meaning at all. They pass quickly and slowly and without any regard or meaning, or perhaps with a great deal of meaning depending on the circumstances. This is becoming much more philosophical than I’d intended, but so it goes.
Here I am droning on and I haven’t even told you what the job entails. I would be considered an e-book associate and would be learning the ins and outs of publishing e-books as the publishing house expands their market. They mostly deal in publishing compilations of fine art, which is right up my alley. I could walk through art museums all day long.
I’m also in the process of applying for a job in California as an editorial assistant for a company that publishes mostly academic journals. That could be interesting, and California is California. I’d be just outside of Los Angeles, which sounds nice in theory. I’d be a lot closer to Oakland, where my darling friend Caroline lives, at least for a little bit longer, though Oakland is still a pretty good ways from Los Angeles. At least it’s not as far as Vietnam!
Well, today I’m taking chances. I’m stepping out of my comfort zone and jumping head first into the abyss. Here’s hoping.
Hello, lovely readers.
I was recently nominated for a Versatile Blogger Award by one of my wonderful readers/ fellow bloggers, Kimberly. She maintains a very inspiring blog, A Mind Ready to Explode!, which is located here: http://words4jp.wordpress.com/ She is also chock full of wisdom and sage advice, always happily commenting on my posts and offering uplifting thoughts when things get a little dark on my end. You should all check out her blog; you won’t regret it.
The criteria below comes directly from The Versatile Blogger Award site which can be found here: http://versatilebloggeraward.wordpress.com/vba-rules/
• Thank the person who gave you this award. That’s common courtesy.
• Include a link to their blog. That’s also common courtesy — if you can figure out how to do it.
• Next, select 15 blogs/bloggers that you’ve recently discovered or follow regularly.
• Nominate those 15 bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award — you might include a link to this site.
• Finally, tell the person who nominated you 7 things about yourself.
Before I make my nominations, I’ll tell you a few tidbits about myself.
Now onto my nominations…
Thanks again to Kimberly for presenting me with this lovely award and giving me the opportunity to nominate 15 bloggers whose creativity and versatility bring me a bit of joy and/or a chance to look at things from a different perspective. I hope each of you take the time to pass this along, allowing others to discover new and interesting blogs.
A few weeks ago, I was in a really dark place emotionally. I was having a hard time at work, feeling very complacent and as though I was perpetually stuck, never to move forward. I even tried to book a flight to Oakland to see my friend, Caroline, for the weekend, because she is a human ray of sunshine and can make any bad day better. I decided against that plan only because flights to Oakland leaving immediately would have cost around $2,000, and even in my emotionally distraught state, I couldn’t rationalize that. Instead, I went to Target and spent money on things I didn’t need, but it made me feel better at the time. The real low of the day was when I purchased the Carly Rae Jepsen CD. At that point, I knew I was nearing rock bottom. I took the CD home, along with the cupcakes and copious amounts of chocolate I had also purchased. I ate the cupcakes and marathoned sad romantic comedies, but I couldn’t bring myself to listen to the CD. I knew the only thing to do would be to return it, so I did. I drove back to Target and returned that awful CD. I don’t know what I was thinking when I bought it, but people really shouldn’t be allowed to shop when depressed.
For those of you unaware, I am in pursuit of a career in publishing, though I currently work as an assistant. I have been actively looking by means of sending out résumés, applications, references, and letters of recommendation for a few months now with little to no result. I expected this, so I’m trying not to lose hope. When you submit an application to a large publishing house, you receive an email saying not to expect further response unless you’re on the short list for consideration. Considering how many people must apply for each position, I understand being unable to reach out to every applicant, though it is still a bit disheartening. I feel like I’m good enough, but how do I make them see that. How do I make them notice me above other applicants? How do I make my application stand out and demand attention?
I’ve probably applied to somewhere between twenty and thirty positions since I’ve started my search, without any real result. I’m looking to make a real move, a real change in my life. The jobs I’m applying to have all been in New York, with the exception of one in Boston and one in New Orleans. A week or so ago, I received an email from the Editor in Chief of the publishing house in New Orleans of which I recently applied. She was thanking me for my application and letting me know the position for which I was applying was unavailable. Though it was a rejection of sorts, it was a response, and I was happy to receive it. She was brief but kind and I responded thanking her for taking the time to let me know. That’s really all I want, even if they are rejections, to know.
But this is a waiting game, so that’s what I’m going to do. I’ll keep send out résumés and applications and keep hoping to stand out. Things have never been particularly easy for me, and I wouldn’t expect them to start now. Where would be the fun in that?
I haven’t written in a while, and I’m starting to feel a little ache inside because of it. My parents left for Dubai last Wednesday and left me to watch my sisters. Usually it’s just me and my cat, and I’ve gotten quite comfortable with this arrangement. I’m the oldest of five children. My sisters are 18, 9, and 8, and relatively self-sufficient, especially Heather, the eldest of the three. The younger two are very busy with after-school and weekend activities. In the last several months, I’ve gotten very set in my routine of taking care of myself and my cat, and very rarely does this involve other people anymore.
My mother has raised five children. She has been raising children for the last twenty-three years. I don’t know how she does it. At present, I am single with no plans of attachment or future children. Right now, I can’t really see myself getting married. I’ve never been the biggest proponent for marriage nor do I put a lot of faith into marriage; that’s not to say all marriages fail, because that’s just not true, but it’s my experience, and research shows, that more marriages than not fail. As for children, I like them most of the time, as long as I can return them to their proper keepers. I’m actually pretty good with children and tend to get along well with them, depending on their age, though I’m not the most patient person, as my mother would be the first to point out.
Saturday morning, I was awoken by my youngest sister, Claire, at 6:30am moving around down the hall, opening and closing doors, trying, unsuccessfully, to be quiet. After several minutes of this, I called her into the room where I was sleeping to ask what she was doing. She came in crying. I then saw she had globs of something stuck in her hair on both sides of her ears. She told me through sobs she had been trying to make ear plugs out of silly putty, and in turn got the silly putty stuck in her hair. Instead of coming to me right away, she decided the best approach was to go get Ella’s school scissors out of her backpack and cut out the silly putty. I grew tired of the fidgeting and noise I had been hearing a tad too late, but in enough time that she only managed to cut a small portion of her hair. What is the fascination with children and cutting their hair? You couldn’t pay me enough to take scissors to my hair. Anyway, I got out of bed and tried to calm her down as I found the things I would need to remove the silly putty from her hair- rubbing alcohol, baby oil, and dawn. I put her in the tub and began stripping away the globs of putty. After about 30 minutes of fighting with the sticky substance and a comb, I was finally able to remove it all, as well as a few small chunks of hair. After a good wash and conditioning, it was almost as if nothing had happened. It’s really barely noticeable, and we went on with our day, but seriously, eight-year-olds should know better than to stick wetish, sticky things in their ears/ hair for fear of getting stuck.
On top of everything else, my body decided this was the week it wanted to get sick. Heather has also been sick this week. She had a stomach bug on Monday and Tuesday, and I’ve had a bad cold/ sinus infection that I can’t seem to shake since Monday night. It only seems to get worse as the days progress. Thankfully, the little girls haven’t gotten sick yet. Usually my whole family gets sick, and I’m the only one that doesn’t, but as I’m staying in the germ house, I’ve caught something. No doubt, the little girls are carrying something they’ve contracted from school and will, themselves, be sick soon.
I love my sisters, but I will be very happy to return them to my parents on Sunday. I’m very comfortable with my gushy twenty-something, single, do-as-I-please, carefree lifestyle. I am always happy to be with my sisters and spend time with them and to help my parents when I can, but it also reaffirms my decision not to have children. Soccer practices and birthday parties and silly putty ear plugs are just not my thing. I am, however, a big proponent for adoption. I don’t ever want to have children naturally. I don’t think I want to have children at all, but if I ever do decide I want a child, I want to adopt, probably an older child. The world is far too over-populated for people who don’t really want children to keep having children. Too many children grow up in foster care or group homes, bouncing around without families, never knowing love. That breaks my heart. No child should grow up like that. Every child should have a home with a family that loves and accepts them. As children get older, it’s harder to be adopted, because most people want babies, so the children not adopted as infants are often the ones that get lost in the system. Those are the ones that need saving the most. I think that’s what I’ll do…
a collection of thoughts, life lessons, and days full of meaning.
A snapshot road trip between two cousins
10% Music, 10% Philosophy, 80% Charisma
Thought Catalog is a digital youth culture magazine dedicated to your stories and ideas.
...because life is funny.
for the love of nike
Faulkner said, kill your darlings. I say, put them on the internet and let strangers read them.
A Mind Ready to Explode!
(n): a strong desire for or impulse to wander or travel and explore the world.
Everything is disposable these days!
Landing Somewhere Among the Stars
my innermost ponderings
Two friends. Three months. Twelves dates. Ready, go.